Random Tuesday

I've been away for a while again. I feel like this Blog is something like my commitment to meditate every day. I begin with the best of intentions and then I become totally distracted. In an attempt to get back on track I'm blogging about the randomness of my Tuesday afternoon.
1. Its hot outside! Not only is it hot its nastily humid which does horrible things to my hair and any other natural fiber such as yarn.
2. On that note: Ever tried knitting outside with wool when its humid? I swear the moisture in the air combined with the sweat from my hands on the needles has produced a sweater that has been simultaneously knitted and felted at the same time. It hasn't shrunk exactly but it has become rather fuzzy when it wasn't supposed to be fuzzy at all.
3. I've found that something of a knitting black hole does in fact exist. Case in point I was knitting on the pink fuzzy baby sweater when after several rows I kept measuring the sleeve to be the same length when I knew it had to be growing longer. After a few more decreases I measured again and the damn thing was to long! Definitely someones idea of knitting humor or a sick karmic joke on my behalf.
4. I'm midway through the heel flap of my first pair of socks!
5. I have my anatomy final tomorrow and guess what I'm doing while I study?
6. Anyone guessed yet? I'll give you a clue I'm not spinning; but I do need to finish the second sleeve on the baby sweater.
7. I'm sensing a not so subtle theme to this post.
8. I've been considering very seriously starting to meditate for just 5 minutes a day. If I can knit while I study, knit while I sit at family functions and if I can make time for the knitting that helps to calm my mind then I should be able to meditate. Right?
9. I'm sensing a problem with this meditation goal I've set for myself. I'm not supposed to knit while I meditate!
10. Wonder if I can meditate on knitting instead?

Thoughts On Stash

Today was one of those days when I wonder who I pleased in the cosmic order of things. On any given day when my credit card is able to I like to spend money at the LYS. Since the economy sucks giving the LYS my business is always a generous and not to mention rewarding way to spend my time being unemployed. If I can't find a job might as well help others keep the jobs they have right?
Tangents aside--I totally hit yarn pay dirt! Since apparently Veterans Day= yarn sale at Michaels! Remind me to thank the Veterans for not only serving our country but for making me a very satisfied knitter/crocheter. Normally I'm a disappointed knitter when I visit Michaels; because to put it nicely I'm a yarn whore. I want the wool, the bamboo, the organic cotton, the silk and wool nylon blends and I don't want it for cheap! What knitter or crocheter hasn't had that moment when you realize that; yes in fact you are a yarnaholic. I knew when I learned to crochet that I liked yarn but it was when I learned to knit that I realized I had a dirty, filthy, sordid and sometimes clandestine affair with fibers.
The best part about being a yarn whore? My stash grew exponentially today. I found pretty Paytons Grace yarn that is screaming at me to knit socks. Did I mention turning the heel is a slightly panicky endeavor that requires red wine and dark chocolate? Perhaps that is why I'm having to pick out rows and reknit them.
I also found some pretty colors that will make quick dishcloths when I need a gift in a hurry. Last but not least is the lovely bamboo yarn that is yelling at me to buy more of its kind and make a silky soft wrap that will have just the right amount of drape to look eloquent when it is around my shoulders.
With all the talk about yarn I leave you with some thoughts about stash.

1. Stash is yours unless you decide to share. Should the compunction to share overtake you suggest to fellow knitters that Christmas, Easter, first day of summer and the first days of autumn are good days to share or swap yarn. In case someone is curious about the choice of days remind them that all those days fall at 3 month intervals; which gives you ample time to grow bored with yarn. Can that actually happen?
2. Stash organization often reflects components of an individuals personality. My stash is organized by fiber content and usability factors. The crap yarn that I will use to make itchy scarves for my relatives that I rarely see is in one box along with the chunky acrylic that I use when I'm an unappreciative fast knitter. The wool and all other plant or animal based fibers are in another box that is safely tucked away from my bad itchy yarn karma that will surely catch up with me one day.
3. Cats love stash which makes me love the lids that fit over my yarn boxes. Perhaps though; I'll leave the lid off of the crappy yarn. Wonder if the relatives are allergic to cats?

The Never Ending Scarf: PT 1

Thus begins my saga of the never ending scarf. It is a day filled with glorious rays of golden sun. For the area of MI where I live this is a rarity this October.
I'm calmly meandering through the LYS running my hands along the skeins of yarn in hopes of choosing the next orphan that will join my stash As I do so a fluffy pure wool in a woodsy brown catches my fansy. I may have been able to resist the price 13$ per hank but the scarf that was coyly draped over the back of the couch was to much. I snapped up 2 hanks in my zeal to adopt a new orphaned project. I couldn't wait to recreate this scarf of pure wonder.
The pattern was simple enough I discover. I mean how difficult can a scarf knitted on size 13 needles with a pattern of K3 P3 for the first row and K1 P1 for the second row be? An idiot with a less than stellar intellect could knit this. Hell a beginner knitter could knit this since gauge doesn't matter! What the deceptive directions fail to mention is that you need an extra helping of fortitude because this takes for fricken ever! I've been working on this damn scarf for 6 days and I just started to knit with the second skein? If this thing isn't long enough when I finish the second skein I'm going to blow an artery.
The sad part of my mini story is despite the fibers that come off this wool that make me sneeze, in spite of how much time it is taking me to knit this scarf and despite the wrist pain I'm having that stole a day of knitting; I'm buying more of this yarn. Why you ask? I'm going to crochet mittens to match! Fucked up? Yep.

The CAKE

I have a CAKE in my house. Yes, you read correctly a CAKE. What is with the strange capitalization you ask?
CAKE stands for: Cat Against Knitting Enjoyment. Here is how things unfolded on this rainy as fuck Friday morning.
I was in that blissful state of dream sleep somewhere between full consciousness and a hot and steamy dream about a certain someone from Buffy when my cat jumped on my dresser. Thinking he was just being irritating because he was hungry I looked at my clock and promptly told him to get down. Does he listen? Give you one guess. Amidst his meowing and scuffling I notice he is closest to the end where I tossed my delicate and important drop stitch scarf I've been "finishing" for the last 8 months. Next thing I see is said cat running out my door after something small and red on the floor. Surely not a mouse.
When my yelling at him to stop proves to be fruitless I leap out of bed which is painful on a sprained knee and find "cat" unwinding my perfect ball of wool silk blend yarn. Horrified I chase him away and quickly rewind the yarn in to a less than stellar ball. I shove it in to an empty candle holder. Beat that kitty! Think I'm nuts yet?
Thus if I were any normal person and my cat was any typical house cat bored after one romp about the house per day; my story might have ended. Alas it doesn't quite end yet.
After sleeping his day away until 3 and on my bed no less the crossed-eyed little traitor decides that my lap looks like a good place to sit. As I am a naturally forgiving person by nature and not apt to hold a grudge unless absolutely necessary I permit this show of affection. Naturally as my ADHD cat is apt to do he starts pawing at the cotton I'm using to finish off a dish cloth. As I unwind the yarn from his paw and from around his tail since he felt the need to lie directly on my working yarn I curse under my breath. Fricken cats! Cat and I resume our semi-symbiotic relationship of me petting him and he leaving my yarn alone for the most part until I reach for my tape measure. I've just finished measuring the length of my dish cloth when he decides to stretch or so I think.
As I resume my knitting and thank the Gods for only 4 more rows of this ever loving torture to go cat makes his underhanded grab for the tape measure. Before I know what has happened my cat and the tape measure are off the couch, on the floor and moving across my living room at an alarming rate. All I can manage to say is that is seriously f***ed up! I grab the tape measure from the Cat Against Knitting Enjoyment and stuff it in a pocket. Note to self thank the manufacturers for making this tape measure 5 ft 3 inches long because when stealing it back from a crazed Siamese cat who has it extended to 5 ft those 3 inches come in handy. The knitting resumes again uninterrupted until the cat returns.
I'm an inteledgent person by nature and someone who doesn't let the proverbial woll get pulled over my eyes to often. Today however; is not my day. Kitty returns and even with the tape measure in full sight leaves it alone. Doing good so far cat. I rearranged my yarn and put it on my right side which as a continental knitter is proverbially incorrect but I digress. All is going along with out a hitch until I unscrew the tip from my cable so that I can put it away. As I set down my needle tip CAKE strikes again. He actually has the audacity and the gumption to start rolling my needle tip inbetween the couch cushions with his paws! Excuse me? Does he not know how many double pointed needles have met a messy end that way? Does he fail to realize that he's going to screw up my interchangeable needle kit if he loses my size 7 needle down the damn couch? I have a sneaking suspicion that is where he planned to hide my red yarn but unfortunately it was still attached to my drop stitch scarf. I rescue the needle and put it in the case with its mate. All is safe and sound until CAKE figures out that my case is plastic and he loves to chew through plastic whenever given a chance. Oh, joy!

Sleepless Night

Today has been one of those days in which I wonder what the Heavens were doing when I was created? I've had a taste of many emotions and my inner thoughts aren't allowing me the liberty of a sound sleep. The mountain of homework awaits in the morning, along with baking, knitting and a walk in the outdoors. I don't usually schedule my walks outside but I'm feeling edgy and stuck personally, creatively, spiritually and emotionally. I'm stuck but yet I have never been more free to express myself. Perhaps my new found assertiveness has left me uncertain as to where to go next? Relaxing is out of the question at this point! So as I am apt to do when baffled I wrote a list of ideas, things I like, stuff I dislike about myself and the world and have inserted thoughtlets in to provoke my thinking.

1. Learn to live spiritually. I firmly believe that religion and spirituality aren't the same concept and to many people confuse the two of them. Religion doesn't get me through the times when life just sucks my spirituality does. A goal of mine this year is to learn to live happily and to find those places, people, thoughts, moments and things that will make my Spirit content.
2. Embrace my vulnerability. I'm not talking about societies perceived vulnerability slapped on me because I am a woman and a blind woman as well. No sign will say please violate me because unlike most women in our self-centered culture I know I have a right to my personal space. I am talking about opening up and letting myself be loved for who I am and for who I am not. You want unladylike behavior there you go. I'm not interested in following the socially acceptable vulnerability that most young women are slapped with nowadays. If it makes me wrong, selfish, unladylike and abnormal to believe that being loved for who I am is acceptable then I've won the award but while I'm celebrating the fact that I'm not supposed to be miserable and alone I know many others who will be just as alone as I used to think I was. It's vulnerability not becoming vulnerable!
3. Take an active part in healthier living. I talk about living healthily, eat consciously and don't litter but I'm never really active in making the Earth cleaner. We're not talking about trying to rid the world of air pollution or attempting to convert back to a lifestyle where electricity was only a dream but I'd like to recycle more, pay attention to my own health and wellness and help others to do the same. One of these days I'll take classes on herbal healing, massage and accupressure.
4. Crying. My least favorite action in all the plethora of human emotions. Give me anger, sadness, fear, love, hatred, brutal honesty and outright pain but not crying. People seem to shove crying in to one of two boxes. It is either tucked away in the "I cry but always alone and only if I haven't cried in years", or "I cry openly and often because I wear my emotions on my sleeve." Obviously I fall in to that first group of people. As a trusted friend told me once crying is good for the Soul and I completely agree. If crying was encouraged nowadays instead of shamed and discourage would our boys and men be more in touch with there emotions? Stereotypes aside because I don't want to say that all men are not emotionally in touch but ask most men and they will not admit to a good cry fest over a bowl of caramel popcorn and a movie. If girls were told that crying is acceptable and that it shows you actually are not the superficial dolls the world expects or that it doesn't make us "hormonal" would more girls believe that they are worth more than the gum someone scraped from the underside of a desk? As for me; I intend on crying more often.
5. Allowing myself to love. With all the writing about being loved for who I am and who I'm not what good would it be if I didn't learn to love others in return. The Evangelical church I sometimes attend calls it Christ like love. Choosing to love unconditionally, and with out ceasing. They forget to add in that loving yourself is more important; nevertheless, allowing myself to love what I fear, loathe and lack the understanding of may be just what my Spirit is asking for.

10 Things To Do Before 2010

I became inspired to make this list a few months ago after a friend of mine asked me what I wanted to accomplish before 2010. I have tweeked the list a bit to reflect more realistic goals and or wishes.

1. Visit the ocean again.
2. Apply to graduate school.
3. Apply to join the Peace Corps.
4. Knit a sweater and or socks!
5. Crochet an afghan.
6. Attend a Pagan/Wiccan circle or gathering.
7. Find a job.
8. Join a pilates or Yoga class.
9. Send at least one poem or short story to a publisher.
10. Finish reading Walden.